I am theorizing here, speculating with what information I have at hand nothing more. Am I creating a conspiracy theory? Maybe, but not along the lines or crazy as the alt-right(out of their minds) creates.
We know for a fact that Russia did work to influence the last presidential election by hacking, releasing information, planting false news, and the use of bots on social media to stir the passions of the alt-right. ( I can attest to this because I was a recipient of harassment of numerous bots on twitter during the election. I also noted there was a sharp decline of these BOTs after the election and most originated in Russia and not in the US though they claimed to be American on their profiles) anyway let's get back to my speculation, a creation of imagination that has basis in fact. Do I need to do a disclaimer here? Screw it, sue me if you're offended or if this resembles you.
We know a former agent of British Intelligence created a dossier on how Donald Trump could have quite possibly been compromised by Russian intelligence while visiting Moscow sometime in the the not distant past. We know there are reports from allies that say Russia has been grooming Trump for years; this is not far fetched as it seems because this operation has been planned years ago. We know that many of those around Trump are so heavily invested in Russian companies, especially the energy sector, that they need to be reminded to make Checks out to Americans in dollars not Rubles. Trump's sons bragged about their Russian interests and Trump himself wants to put one of his small penis compensating Towers in Moscow. Did I just write that? Oh well.
Let's time travel in our imagination in Donald Trump's shoes to a trip to Moscow whenever that was. We are stoked because we have a chance to put up one of our monuments to our colossal ego and take advantage of the Russian energy boom and make some rubles, I mean dollars. (See it is hard to keep Track) Our jet touches down and we are greeted by one, two, or more of Putin's men, uh Oligarchs, I mean Russian businessmen. We are swept away to Moscow's best hotel but it is nothing compared to one of our over compensating for our small penis towers, I mean hotel. Why is Trump so worried about his small hands and penis? Ah well, we are just along for the ride in his mind. It's a good thing he has such a small IQ so we all can fit.
Our Russian hosts want to have dinner socialize and have some drinks, We don't drink but We get a high from people praising me for my intelligence and business acoo... a koo...uh, business smarts. But what is that word someone on TV once used? It sounds like ack you man, anyway they are praising me and my big head his inflated enough We could overshadow the world.
Wow! Look at that young thing, and that one and that one! Damn good thing Melania isn't along for the ride or we won't be able to sample the local fair. What did the interpreter say to us? Oh, we can have anyone or everyone we want? All of them! Send them up to our room. They are clean? Can't be too careful after all dating in the 80s was our Vietnam after all. Well let us head up to the room so we can see what these women look like in the buff. Hmmm, How do we ask them to shower us with gold? Ok we will jump ahead in our mental time travel trip to the next morning.
Man are we are dragging today and it isn't because of jet lag if you know what we mean? What did the interpreter say? Oh the Russian energy big wigs have someone they want us to meet, someone from the government and they have something to show me at breakfast. Oh great, a business breakfast. Hmm, We wonder what the Russian government guy wants to show me? Maybe it is a surprise and my buddy Putin will be there, We hope so. We so want to be best friends with Putin, bigly!
Ah good, breakfast and our guests are here. That's not Putin. Oh well he has a laptop, maybe we will video chat with Vlad the magnificent. Hey, what the hell? Who recorded this? You recorded that golden shower we received from those women? They were prostitutes? We to do what or you will show this everyone? Run for President? Oh crap, We guess Wewill run for President. What else? Divide America? But how? Oh you will help and give money? Sure just tell us what to do? Man, we should use this blackmail thing in our hotels, it will come in handy.
And by the magic of imagination we are back to the present free of the big giant Oompa Loompa head. We aren't done with our mental time travels yet, there are still two more trips we have to make. Don't worry it won't be to the land of Trump.
We arrive at the hotel. Wow, Trump knows how to make a person feel welcome. ( ok, I lied. It is the land of Trump but not his head, so that is a plus.) we are just a mere Member of the House of Representative from California but Trump makes us fill like a King. This trip is looking up! I sure wish the wife could have joined us. ( If you haven't guessed the destination of this Trip it is Rep. Nunes' Noggin ) Dinner, drinks, a little mingling. Wow, this trip is better than We thought it would be. She is one beautiful lady, We think she has the hots for us. Too bad we're married or else...what? Out of sight out of mind and no one will know? One time won't hurt, but not our room. Let's ditch our aide, good now we're safe.
Let's jump ahead in time to a time when Rep. Nunes takes a ride in an Uber with some colleagues. Wow, long day. This Russian thing is going to be a bear. We are not sure the president will come out of this without being impeached but we cannot say this to anyone including the people we are with right now. Ah, we got a text. God please don't be Schiff, he is driving us nuts. It's a pic, it's a pic of us and that lady from the Trump hotel. She said that flash was nothing..Oh my if someone sees this we are ruined. Who sent this? Bannon. We need to come to the White House to discuss this new intel. We have got to get out of this Uber ride. We will say something important has popped up and will get another ride home.
Ok we are back to now in our imagination mental time travel. Thank God, I felt so limited in those to minds, didn't you? Anyway these mental trips were just to illustrate a possibility and to provide some entertainment in these trying times. Also to show that someone should look into the real reason Nunes acted the way he did and find out what truly motivated him. Thanks for coming along for the ride.
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